Are you smarter than a primitive Stone Aged woman?

fifth grader

Today, the primitive women of 1830s West Africa whose culture was unchanged from the Stone Age era are up against Ivy League educated third-wave feminist Millennial women.

Let’s start with the Stone-agers.

J.L. Wilson was an American missionary to Africa beginning in the 1830s.  In 1856, he wrote Western Africa: Its History, Condition, and Prospects in which he described some of his observations about social and family structure.  He writes (highlighting mine):

Polygamy is a favorite institution here as it is in every other part of Africa.  In their estimation, it lies at the very foundation of all social order, and society would scarcely be worth preserving without it.  The highest aspiration to which an African ever rises is to have a large number of wives.  His happiness, his reputation, his influence, his position in society all depend upon this.  The consequence is that the so-called wives are little better than slaves.  They have no other purpose in life than to administer to the wants and gratify the passions of their lords, who are masters and owners rather than husbands.  It is not a little singular, however, that the females upon whom the burden of this degrading institution mainly rests, are quite as much interested in its continuance as the men themselves.  A woman would infinitely prefer to be one of a dozen wives of a respectable man, than to be the sole representative of a man who had not the force of character to raise himself above the one-woman level.

…Each [wife] is mistress of her own household, and is not liable to be interfered with by any of her co-wives.  She provides for herself, her children, and entertains her husband as often as he favors her with his company.

Let’s add up their score:

  • Relationship status (+1 for monogamy,+0 for being part of a harem)? Harem +0
  • receive reciprocal sexual pleasure? No (they exist to gratify their lords’ pleasure). +0
  • provided for? No. +0
  • married? Yes. +1
  • children? Yes. +1

Total score: 2

And now let’s see how the Ivy League educated third-wave feminist Millennial women fare:

At a booth in the back, three handsome twentysomething guys in button-downs are having beers. They are Dan, Alex, and Marty, budding investment bankers at the same financial firm, which recruited Alex and Marty straight from an Ivy League campus. (Names and some identifying details have been changed for this story.) When asked if they’ve been arranging dates on the apps they’ve been swiping at, all say not one date, but two or three: “You can’t be stuck in one lane … There’s always something better.” “If you had a reservation somewhere and then a table at Per Se opened up, you’d want to go there,” Alex offers.

“Guys view everything as a competition,” he elaborates with his deep, reassuring voice. “Who’s slept with the best, hottest girls?” With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day—the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”

[…] But Marty, who prefers Hinge to Tinder (“Hinge is my thing”), is no slouch at “racking up girls.” He says he’s slept with 30 to 40 women in the last year: “I sort of play that I could be a boyfriend kind of guy,” in order to win them over, “but then they start wanting me to care more … and I just don’t.”

…[The girls] are seniors from Boston College, all in New York for summer internships, ranging from work in a medical-research lab to a luxury department store. They’re attractive and fashionable, with bright eyes highlighted with dark eyeliner wings. None of them are in relationships, they say. I ask them how they’re finding New York dating.

“New York guys, from our experience, they’re not really looking for girlfriends,” says the blonde named Reese. “They’re just looking for hit-it-and-quit-it on Tinder.”

“There is no dating. There’s no relationships,” says Amanda, the tall elegant one. “They’re rare. You can have a fling that could last like seven, eight months and you could never actually call someone your ‘boyfriend.’ [Hooking up] is a lot easier. No one gets hurt—well, not on the surface.”

They give a wary laugh.

…“A lot of guys are lacking in that department,” says Courtney with a sigh. “What’s a real orgasm like? I wouldn’t know.”

They all laugh knowingly.

“I know how to give one to myself,” says Courtney.

“Yeah, but men don’t know what to do,” says Jessica, texting.

…“I’ll get a text that says, ‘Wanna fuck?’ ” says Jennifer, 22, a senior at Indiana University Southeast, in New Albany. “They’ll tell you, ‘Come over and sit on my face,’ ” says her friend, Ashley, 19.

Oh, that’s rough!  But let’s see how they scored:

  • Relationship status (+1 for monogamy,+0 for being part of a harem)? Harem +0
  • receive reciprocal sexual pleasure? No. +0
  • provided for? No. +0
  • married? No. +0
  • children? No. +0

Total Score: 0

So there we have it.  The primitive Stone-Aged women had to put up with being part of a harem, didn’t get to enjoy the sex, and weren’t provided for, but they got to belong somewhere, be part of a family, have a husband, and children.  The Ivy League Millennial third wave sex-positive ladies got…nothing. Zip.  Nada.

So why do they do it?  Mr. Free Northerner, who takes a dim view of the modern men and women portrayed in the VF article, believes the women do it because they are addicted to the attention and affirmation:

This article by itself is justification for patriarchy. These young women are addicted to attention. They are not enjoying themselves, they are neither respected nor loved, they are starved for affection, and they are willingly making themselves sex toys for men who don’t care in the least about them and enjoy hurting them. It is destroying their emotional core, but they can’t quit their addiction.

They need a stern father to drag them back home and force them to respect themselves.

The men are aimless and alienated. They need responsibility. Instead, they get untold free poon. Why do they need to care, when they can drown themselves in hedonism? They need the women’s fathers to to be cut off from empty masturbation with their breathing sex toys and be forced to contribute and care before hedonism can take them, so they can grow into men.

On the other hand, Mrs. Susan Walsh suspects this is the usual sex-positive propaganda hit piece that doesn’t truly represent Millennial women.

But no matter who is right, I think we can safely say to those Millennial women who swallowed the sex-positive feminist lie:

YOU are NOT smarter than a primitive Stone Aged woman.

Not All Millennials Are Like That: hopeful signs among high schoolers.

I’ve been surprised at the astounding maturity level of some of the high schoolers I’ve observed lately. Supposedly this generation is video game obsessed, unprepared for the real world, spoiled, and self-involved, but anecdotally I can report that at least some of them seem to have maturity and wisdom that I don’t see among many twenty- and thirty-year-olds.

I don’t want to violate anyone’s privacy, so I’m going to be very vague with their personal details here, but let me describe a little bit of what I’ve witnessed.

1. I recently met a high school senior who got married not long ago and not because of an unplanned pregnancy. It sounds like it should be a terrible situation, but in reality the young couple have vocational education and job plans all mapped out, and one of them is already working and earning decent enough money for someone so young. They have a workable division of labor such that their home is clean and they have home-cooked meals, and they stay within their budget.

I know middle-aged people who aren’t doing that well.

2. I overheard a high schooler talking with an adult about a sibling who graduated from college after spending a huge sum of money on a useless degree and who is now working at a minimum wage job. This high schooler was angry about it because the sibling wasted the parents’ money but did not pursue any sort of career. The high schooler resolved not to follow in the sibling’s footsteps.

3. Demand for vocational education among the high schoolers I know is high. Others who plan to go to college have expressed the intention to live at home while doing so in order to avoid the party scene and to save money.

4. Many of the high school girls I observe look better than girls just 5-10 years older. College girls who have cut their hair short, dyed it blue, and added a nose ring are a common sight around Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti, but the high school girls out in the rural areas look pretty decent. The desire to mutilate one’s appearance seems to be waning and few of the high school girls I’ve spoken to have indicated an interest in getting tattoos or facial piercings. You Go Grrlisms are less common than in young women just a few years older.

5. I was observing some girls at the sports club where one of my daughters plays volleyball. The gym was packed with tall, lithe girls with long ponytails, chatting pleasantly with their friends and parents, working out, or draped over benches with their textbooks out, catching up on studying while waiting for their team’s turn on the court. They seemed both pleasant and serious, focused on doing well in school, excelling in sports, and having good relationships with their friends and family. They seem nothing like feminists even though they are fairly focused on personal achievement. They don’t seem obsessed with proving anything about girls or women. They don’t expect to be handed a free ride and they don’t expect trophies just for showing up.

6. Most high school girls and a surprising number of the boys that I’ve chatted with say quite plainly that they want to get married and have children. Many of the girls say they would like to do so while still relatively young. Some say they want to wait until after college, but I haven’t heard any say to me that they want to wait until they’re in their thirties to get married. That is in stark contrast to the official line that my generation of women (Gen X) spewed at the behest of the second-wave feminists that many of Gen X’s mothers were.

This is only anecdotal and is likely influenced by the demographics of where I live and work, but it seems like the group of high-school-aged young people who technically occupy the “millennial” generation label are quite different than Millennials who are only 10 years older. Compare the students I have just described with the U.S. Chamber of Commerce’s Jessica (not to be confused with President Obama’s Julia):

 A summary of Millennials, told in short story form

Titled “About ‘Jessica’” as it is one of the most popular names given to girls born in the 1980s and 1990s1

Jessica earned her first soccer trophy while she was still in nursery school. The soccer trophies and medals kept on coming, as did the ones for swimming, karate, basketball, Girl Scouts, and debate. She has been encouraged to be anything she wants to be. Because of the almost constant support she receives and her full schedule, she craves lots of attention in the form of praise and feedback. Her baby boomer parents shower her with attention and consult her about what restaurants the family visits and where they will go on vacation.

Jessica has a full collection of Beanie Babies. She and her parents would discuss which were the most coveted ones when they would drive her to school in the morning. Then, her parents would surprise her with these collectibles after purchasing them online, some at hefty prices!  They are now neatly stored in her parents’ attic for the time she has a child or house of her own.

Upon college, she expects a return on the investment in her tuition to be a minimum of a 3.6 GPA. Her Gen X+ professors want her to earn it. The transactional perspective on education typical of her generation is a harsh disconnect with her instructors.

Her college’s family engagement center enlightens instructors of this new student philosophy and encourages instructors to provide students more leeway than past cohorts. Professors endeavor to relate to and educate this new student and are humored by the continuing reminders of not using Wikipedia as an annotation source.

Jessica thinks that she will be in the top 20% of graduates in her class. The problem is that 66% of her peers think so too. That expectation later leads to some anxiety and a bit of depression, which concern her parents. They continue to support her and with the school find her a therapist to build up her usual hopefulness.

Jessica has a hard time finding a paying professional job upon graduation and wonders how she will afford her shared apartment and pay her remaining student loan debt. Once her unpaid internship does not result in a job, she moves back in with her parents.

Jessica acts quickly to a text from her friend Michael (the name given to more babies born in the 1980s and 1990s than any other1) that his organization is hiring.  Happily, she interviews and receives an offer with a fine starting salary. She verifies with her potential employer that she can still make her Wednesday late afternoon volleyball games and consults with her mom about the offer before accepting.

Her manager, who is 49, appreciates her enthusiasm and energy. Jessica clearly wants to be competent and successful. And while she can manage multiple tasks at once, her manager sees her missing some important information in meetings and wants her to improve her client relationship skills.

Lucky for Jessica, her manager has received training on how to coach his employees, particularly Gen Yers. Jessica has appreciated her manager’s support, and their relationship is positive. Jessica told her parents the company is OK, but her manager is great, so she plans to stay a while. She is enjoying the feeling of stability.

Her manager invests extra time in providing more context, interim goals, and plenty of feedback. The payoff is that Jessica is receptive and very open to developing her skills and is looking forward to her mentoring relationship with a director in another department. The director is also looking forward to a fruitful and informative alliance.

Many of Jessica’s friends are still looking for jobs, so she feels lucky. A few are going back for their master’s degrees. She’d like to increase her education one day as well. She texts her friends about her volleyball win and tweets that her company just launched a great new product and suggests they try it out.

Like Julia the creepy government daydream, Jessica sounds like some kind of creepy corporate daydream. No husband, no children, just a boss who tells her how super great she is and whom she loves so much that she’s just gonna devote her life to this company…why she loves it so much that she tweets to her friends encouraging them to buy its products. Yes, surely life’s meaning is found in our devotion to Encorpora and our commitment to Moar Master’s Degrees!

Jessica is an illusion, much like the fleeting illusions of “game” and beauty that can be used to hide something ugly, and what she represents is a deception meant to seduce and entice our young people away from kith and kin. But there is no Jessica and it seems like some of the younger Millennials are observing older Millennials and figuring this out for themselves.