Flashy illusion versus family formation.

Laura Wood published a comment from Donal Graeme in which he gives wise advice to young men and women.  To young men, he writes:

Watch carefully what women do. Not to watch the woman specifically, but what she does. We men are visual creatures, and so a beautiful woman can be distracting like nothing else. However, if you fixate on a woman’s actions it can help you determine a great deal about her character. Our Savior told us that “every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit.” Look at the fruit of a woman’s actions to help understand her better. Look for patterns of behavior, and you will be surprised how quickly the scales can fall from your eyes. It also helps to not pedestalize women- remember they are fallen human beings, just like you.

And he warns women:

I would like to point out that women are just as likely to be blinded by an attractive man as men are by an attractive woman. The web is full of stories of women complaining about their husbands, who turned out to be either weak in the faith or were non-believers all along. Many Christian women even knew this when they married them. Why did they marry such men? Because they were attracted to those men. Very attracted to them in most instances, and they choose attractiveness over character. And of course this blindness need not end in marriage- often times it “merely” ends in fornication, with women giving away their virtue to attractive men who lacked sound character. I’ve featured a few of those stories on my own blog. We all need to beware of flash, and look for substance instead.

Exactly so. Just as young women need to learn to spot players and refuse to allow themselves to be gamed – game, of course, being a flashy illusion employed for the purpose of seduction – so too do young men need to learn to spot women who use beauty as a flashy illusion to hide poor character. You can’t form a family around an illusion, for as Proverbs 31:30 says:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting…


Sensible precautions for single young men and women who want to protect their futures.

Just recently I gave some advice to young women which can be summarized as follows:

Young women:

  1. Don’t have more than one drink.
  2. Don’t go back to a young man’s room with him. That’s not just slutty; it’s also dangerous.

Now a recent news story from my alma mater prompts me to repeat that advice to young women and offer the following advice to young men:

Young men:

  1. Don’t have more than one drink.
  2. Don’t take a young woman back to your room with you. That’s not just caddish; it’s also dangerous.


Three young people, all with ruined futures. Nevermind about the he-said-she-said. Nevermind about feminists and men’s rights activists. These two young men and one young woman were young, they were foolish, they were just doing what everyone else was doing, and now their lives are trashed.

Don’t take that chance, young men and women. There is no fleeting pleasure in a drunken hook up that makes it worth the risk of potentially being raped or having a false rape allegation brought against you.

Biblical sexual morality: it’s not just right and holy. It’s also sensible and safe for both women and men.