Why should she obey God if her husband still acts like a jerk?

Dear Sunshine,

Since I am a Christian, I decided to follow what the Bible instructs wives to do and submit to my husband as unto the Lord.  Imagine my surprise when I did that and he suddenly turned into a prancing queen!

What went wrong?


A Christian Wife

Dear Christian Wife,

I am sorry to hear of your troubles.  While I do not think it is at all common for a wife to obey the straightforward commands in Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-7, and Titus 2:4-5 and end up with a prancing queen for a husband, it certainly could happen.  Likewise, obeying God in the area of marriage, or really in any area, is not a guarantee of getting a particular outcome that you want.

Wives do not submit to their husbands so that their husbands will then act a certain way.  Rather, wives submit to their husbands in order to please the Lord.  No matter how fruity or how much of a jerk any particular husband may be, his wife will not improve the situation by deciding to disobey God.

We do not obey God to get something that we want.  We obey God because He is God and we are not.  He is always right and when we do not obey His Word, we are always wrong.  For Jesus said,

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?”


Best wishes,