An angry feminist beseeches men: Will you please STOP shirking your responsibility to decide for women that they may not have something to drink?
A little while back I was talking with a man I knew about consent. He was commenting on an article I had shared earlier that day on men who get women drunk in the hopes that it will increase their chances of getting laid. He sat in my living room and told me that he took issue with the essay’s insistence that this behavior was predatory or abusive […] As a woman who had experienced this sort of pressure and manipulation multiple times, it was clear to me, from how it made me feel, that it wasn’t okay. I decided to ask him a few questions.
“Hey, so if you know a dude at work and you think it’s cool and you want to hang out but he doesn’t really want to — he wants to go home, but you just keep buying him beers so he’ll stay — would you say that he really wants to hang out with you?”
“No,” he admitted, “But — ”
“Okay, and so if you kept buying him beers, knowing full well that if you did not buy him beers he would leave because otherwise he wouldn’t want to hang out with you, and at the end of the night he felt sick and angry and liked you even less than when you first asked him to hang out but he wasn’t into it, would you then call your buddies and brag about the awesome hang-out time you just had?”
“No,” he said, no longer trying to interject.
“And if you thought that was the only way you could get people to hang out with you, to get them drunk so that they wouldn’t say ‘no’ as strongly as they would otherwise, would you feel good about yourself as a person? Would you consider yourself a friend?”
It was clear by the look on his face that no, he would not, so I concluded my questions with one more.
“So, if you wouldn’t dream of coercing a dude against his will to hang out with you and still call it a ‘fun hang-out session,’ why would you coerce a woman to sleep with you and still call it consensual sex? Why don’t women get the same basic respect in sexual intimacy that you afford your bros while watching the game? Is that the type of man you want to be?”
TL; DR: feminists believe women are too stupid to decide whether they want something to drink or not.
Seriously, it has been illegal (as it should be) for quite some time to sleep with someone who has had too much to drink. So she’s not addressing that. She apparently believes a woman has no autonomy or ability to refuse a drink she doesn’t want; if a man offers her a drink, she is literally helpless and must drink until he stops buying.
I mean, this is not exactly the message we were led to believe feminists were advancing in Wonder Woman and GI Jane. If I’m following correctly, the current feminist thinking is that women are all strong, tough ass-kickers who are totally helpless and dependent on men to keep them safe.
Erm, I’m confused.
What I find especially fascinating about this is that feminists went nuts when Emily Yoffe advised college girls not to binge drink because it put them at an increased risk of being sexually assaulted. Feminists berate women for telling other women not to drink, while simultaneously demanding that men force women not to drink.
Huh. Feminists sure do have a low opinion of women’s ability to make decisions for themselves. Whatever happened to “My body, my choice”? But the truth is that this feminist’s demands actively endanger women by giving them a false sense of security. In reality, good men don’t take advantage of drunk women and evil men who do take advantage of drunk women will not follow some feminist’s advice not to buy drinks for women who don’t want them.
Never send a feminist to do a speech therapist’s job, I guess. Women, I’ll help you out here. Instead of waiting desperately for your male date to cut you off, try saying this instead:
Man: “Here, let me buy you another appletini.”
Woman: “No thank you.”
Man: “Oh come on…”
Woman: “Well, thanks for hanging out but I have to get going now.” (leaves)
Doesn’t that sound a lot more empowered than the feminist version? Now you don’t have to sit around helplessly drinking drinks you don’t want in the presence of a man who might have evil plans. You’re welcome.