Why should she obey God if her husband still acts like a jerk?

Dear Sunshine,

Since I am a Christian, I decided to follow what the Bible instructs wives to do and submit to my husband as unto the Lord.  Imagine my surprise when I did that and he suddenly turned into a prancing queen!

What went wrong?


A Christian Wife

Dear Christian Wife,

I am sorry to hear of your troubles.  While I do not think it is at all common for a wife to obey the straightforward commands in Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-7, and Titus 2:4-5 and end up with a prancing queen for a husband, it certainly could happen.  Likewise, obeying God in the area of marriage, or really in any area, is not a guarantee of getting a particular outcome that you want.

Wives do not submit to their husbands so that their husbands will then act a certain way.  Rather, wives submit to their husbands in order to please the Lord.  No matter how fruity or how much of a jerk any particular husband may be, his wife will not improve the situation by deciding to disobey God.

We do not obey God to get something that we want.  We obey God because He is God and we are not.  He is always right and when we do not obey His Word, we are always wrong.  For Jesus said,

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?”


Best wishes,



8 thoughts on “Why should she obey God if her husband still acts like a jerk?

  1. Pingback: The Submission Wars.. | See, there's this thing called biology...

  2. I was taken aback by the title of the post. I think it is men who would be more like to turn away than women. How else can you explain the low attendance of men in church.
    After reading the link, it’s reassuring to know that IB is still on her soapbox running men down and proclaiming the moral superiority of women. Effectively, she is more powerful proponent of MGTOW than the guys.
    I hope all this comes to a head soon. I can’t see it going on like this indefinitely.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I was taken aback by the title of the post.

      The complaint I hear sometimes is that this or that woman tried submitting to her husband but he continued to be a jerk, so we’d better not advise women to obey God by submitting to their husbands because it doesn’t “work”.

      But that whole line of reasoning is wrong. It doesn’t matter if it “works” or it “doesn’t work”. God says do it, so we do it. End of story.

      Anywho, men can be royal jerks. 🙂 C’mon, you know they can. Just like women can be major bitches. We live in a fallen world.

      Liked by 1 person

      • @Sunshine: “We live in a fallen world.”

        God made Adam and placed him in the Garden. Then he created Eve to be a help for Adam. Then Eve behaved in a way that she knew would separate her from Adam – the one she was created to help. When did Eve decide to behave this way? After she ate the forbidden fruit, or before? When did Adam choose his “help” over God? After he ate the forbidden fruit, or before?

        Seems like folks were already exhibiting some skanky behavior while living in an unfallen world.


    • Sunshine,
      I don’t think it’s equal. If women are inititiating seventy percent of divorces, it means that men are trying to keep it together in two out three instances.
      The reason that I was taken aback by the title is that I don’t think women react this way. I think women turn to rationalize their behavior and rely on their facade of feminine virtue. That’s why the churches are full of women and empty of men.
      Another thing that surprised me were the number of bloggers who “liked” IB’s post. Some of them I am familiar with and they should know better.


  3. Dear Christian wife,

    So sorry to hear of your predicament. Perhaps you might share with us your definition of jerk, which we regretfully note is already disrespecting him. Then we might be able to help derive an appropriate response strategy respecting your husbands headship, and your place as his helpmeet.

    Waiting for a response,

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Maybe we need to define what is meant by “prancing queen.” RuPaul, personality quirks, sin issues? That said, it strikes me that one commenter on the linked blog noted that if you’ve got one, take your submission further and make sure he’s aware of his opportunities to lead. Maybe she needs to step it up a notch, not retreat.


  5. Pingback: This Week in Reaction (2016/01/31) – The Reactivity Place

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