I came out of the closet as a non-voter to my family-in-law this summer. It was upsetting for all of us. Especially difficult was when they asked why. How to explain the evolution – no, rather, the clarifying – of my understanding about democracy in dinner table conversation? See, Mom, it’s just that I have come to understand the Founding Fathers as the liberals they were. Well, and what is wrong with liberalism, they would like to know. The more one tries to talk and explain this kind of thing to a baffled audience, the more one realizes that other picnic-goers view you as perhaps being a sandwich or two short…
Well, they would like to know, if I don’t like liberals, why don’t I just vote Republican? Because, you know, Republicans are conservatives, so even though you may embarrass your family by being a conservative, at least it is a thing which they can understand. As opposed to just not voting at all which is frankly…suspicious.
My dilemma is really kind of solved now, though, for whenever my back is up against the wall and I am forced to confess my dogged refusal to vote even for conseratives, I shall simply say:
…the function of conservatism in society is to preserve and protect liberalism from its own excesses. Conservatives are the abused enablers of progressives and always will be, mopping up the vomit and excrement after the drunken binges to make sure that they can continue.
And I think that will nicely end any further dinner table queries about my political preferences. Don’t you?