We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…
Sisters, do you know what we need? We need some of that “equality” stuff. See, equality is this magic fairy dust that you can get some of and it will make math easy and meaningless casual sex empowering.
But! There is only so much equality fairy dust in the world. Sisters, if you find math hard, if it troubles you to engage in meaningless hook ups, if you are 30 years old and your Women’s Studies degree has not yet landed you a fabulous job as a CEO of a superfun tech company where your work is like play, it is because all your equality has been stolen from you!
Do you know who stole your equality? It’s easy to see whodunit. Who are the engineers? Who are all the tech people? Who are all the CEOs? That’s right, men, especially the white ones! Somehow they got more equality fairy dust than we did, and that’s not fair. They stole our equality!
They are literally hogging all the equality for themselves and won’t share any equality with anyone else!
What do we want?
Equality fairy dust!
When do we want it?
Thank goodness we have feminism, sisters!
Men, get busy building us ladies some equality boxes to stand on!
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.