Mrs. Laura Wood has the scoop on the latest Supreme Court Ruling: SCOTUS Rules for Children:
THE U.S. SUPREME COURT ruled today, in the landmark case Scarsbury v. Scarsbury, that under the Due Process and Equal Protection clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment, children are entitled to establish their own bedtimes and eat whatever they darn well please. The 5-4 ruling was the culmination of years of struggle by children’s rights advocates. It was widely hailed as a victory for equality.
There is no word yet as to when the multinational corporation-sponsored Children’s Liberation Pride parades will begin, but let me be the first to bravely face the applause for signalling my superior moral status compared to all the Children, honor your parents! plebes around me by extending a heartfelt and very public congratulations to brave little Zachary for his courageous fight against cruciferous vegetable oppression. I think we can all agree that the world is a better place when parents have lots of responsibility but absolutely no authority.