A comment on men protecting women by discouraging temptation.

A while back a commenter at The Courtship Pledge wrote a thought-provoking comment to men about their role in protecting women from temptations.  He writes:

“…the weak link is from the female side who have the power of the whole legal system to detonate the best marriages. Within the church this can be addressed by social pressure and honour systems that discourage women from temptations.
This has been the role of religion since time immemorial, and the role of male headship. We should protect our wives and fathers should protect their daughters, not just physically but also mentally.

We should protect our woman with the following:

1. Limited consumption of today’s popular culture.
2. Awareness of association of destructive women, or women who show a poor example.
3. Active preaching about the unhappiness of today’s childless women.
4. Aim to raise as many children as possible, minimum 3.
5. Simple lifestyle based on raising children, and appropriate dress, hairstyle, make-up to reflect that.

The crux is that women who are actively engaged in raising children are busy and happier and don’t care about nice shoes, the next cruise, or going out partying. That’s basically it.

The busier the women are with household and kids, the happier they are.

This tests even our own brainwashing according to feminism. How many of us still think that women are unhappy as “breeders” or being the “fifties housewife”? We have been brainwashed ourselves and therefore can’t offer adequate headship.

We must take control ourselves. We have to be vigilant all the time. One tactic is by dropping appropriate comments at every opportunity. For example if we know of a mutual friend who divorces, we should express the tragedy and how unhappy that poor woman will now be. Or if we meet a woman who is childless we should say to our wives: “That poor woman, when she is 50 she will be miserable at spending Christmas with her *friends* instead of her children and grandchildren…” If we see a woman dressing and acting like a harlot, we should say “That poor woman, what will her children think if they saw her…” or “That poor woman she cannot find a husband that cherishes her…”

On the whole I think this may be good advice for men to use for gently (and quite realistically) influencing the women in their lives, provided that the context is one of loving concern for their women and not vindictive schadenfreude at the unhappiness of other women.  Women today have so many life-destroying cultural memes and bad advice stemming from feminist ideology coming at them that it is no wonder young women might make foolish choices such as spending their youth accruing students loans for unprofitable degrees instead of preparing for marriage and a family.  A man whose opinion she esteems simply observing the real world consequences of Eat-Pray-Love or feminist careerism could do a lot to help a young woman develop her ability to spot false teaching and bad advice.

We older women have an important role in this, too.  We need to be guiding and teaching younger women about the importance of family-formation and how to go about forming a stable family while avoiding temptations such as sexual sin, divorce, and foolishness such as pursuing any education that does not directly lead to a decent income.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Titus 2:3-5


18 thoughts on “A comment on men protecting women by discouraging temptation.

  1. “That poor woman, when she is 50 she will be miserable at spending Christmas with her *friends* instead of her children and grandchildren…”

    I think this is the wrong way to go about it. Better to pump up the joy of children and family. People will add the pain of the lack of such themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. To be clear, he was suggesting a man say this privately to a woman in his sphere of influence, not to the poor unhappy childless woman herself. It would be a terrible idea to say any such thing to the woman herself because who knows why she is childless? Perhaps she married young and wanted children only to find that they could not have any; if that is the case, what cruelty it would be to say anything to her at all!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oops. that was me liking above.

    I thought this was going to be a post on abstinence, based on the title. And I was going to mention how much more attractive a man who will not lead you into temptation is than a man who will.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I really like this, I think there is some truth in those words. The problem with some of these men however, is that they tend to want to point fingers at women exclusively, as if only women are responsible for the brokeness in the world. So we begin with, “the weak link is from the female side..” Okay, so where was her father, brothers? This legal system she now turns to is run by men. The political system we are all blessed with is dominated by men. Her perceptions of herself will come from men, men who likely did not treat her very honorably. Hollywood, TV, all dominated by men.

    For men to then turn around and blame women as if women have just spontaneously combusted all by their lonesome becomes the height of hypocrisy and hypocrisy robs the whole message of it’s integrity. Men’s voice, their authority, must come from a place of well earned respect. So many of these men are simply acting in prideful ways, as if pointing fingers at women, somehow relieves men of any blame. And so many of them seek revenge against all of womankind. Their hostility is so thick you could cut it with a knife.


    • I went through a period in my early 20s of being very angry with men about their sins. I then went through a period in my early 40s of being very angry with women for their sins. Now I have an increasing amount of compassion for both men and women. It is so easy for all of us to be taken captive by Satan, even momentarily, to do his will. Men and women simply must realize we have a common enemy; right now feminism (and liberalism more generally) is simply the method du jour by which we allow ourselves to be taken captive.

      Neither sex alone can solve our common problem. If we wish to create stable families and serve our Lord, women must turn from selfishness and rebellion, while men must turn from laziness and cowardice. Women need to be trustworthy helpers who submit to their fathers and husbands; men need to do the hard work of husbanding, which means sometimes correcting their women when we ladies stray off course as we are wont to do when given too much freedom and too few natural consequences (Men would do well to go here for help understanding some of the harder aspects of husbanding: canecaldo.wordpress.com ).

      Collectively we men and women are really in a quagmire of rebellion and cowardice. Who will save us from this mutually-assured self-destruction?


      Liked by 3 people

    • There are many of us who have been saved, rescued from the path our culture is on and turned away from it. So yes, women do and will listen. There are quite a few of us older ones, long since married now, but also a surprising number of young girls rejecting feminism, seeking something that feels more natural, more like the way things were supposed to be.

      In my experience most women aren’t too fond of having total dominance, so that works in our favor too.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I am sort of kicking myself for a missed opportunity at work. Every so often we teach a new class/activity in the afternoon that the students sign up for. I’ve done card games, student newspaper, and foreign language, but what I realize I should have done for my last session this year was etiquette.

        Now, I am generally impressed by how well my manners rub off on the students by this time in the year, but here is a great chance to teach 6th, 7th, and 8th grade girls all kinds of important info. So, next year, if I get my ducks in a row, I think I will do that.

        Its five forty-five minute sessions. There’s a possibility that I could go even further and do some sort of red pill “how boys and girls are different” thing. A presenter in the past recommended this book to me, and perhaps I could buy it and teach from it: http://www.amazon.com/Guys-Are-Waffles-Girls-Spaghetti/dp/1400315166

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for the linkback. This weekend was Pascha (Easter) for Orthodox, so I was trying to stay away from the internet and blogs as much as possible.

    This is question Mychael and I discussed after we read your post. She agrees that it is my job to keep her (and my daugther) away from these things. She regularly asks me “should I read this book?” (or similar).

    By which she means “do you think the material in here is suitable?” The more she does it, the less “oppresive” it feels to her.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Scott, has your ISP taken your site down or have you? It is completely dead. I am going to use this post, Sunshine.


    • Ugh. I have just learned that I may have lost ALL THE Courtship Pledge content due to a bureaucratic snafu between Build-A-Website.com and WebHero. That’s two years of research and posts.


      • Argh. Had it happen to me: I now have a backup of the site (I generally do it when I update things). BTW, I tried to find it it the internet archive: it is set up in such a way that it is not trawled.

        I hope you still have your notes. The one great advancage of computers is that I now have most of my cruft as .pdfs and .odt files, not scattered around my office.


      • Scoot,
        While it may not help, I am relieved that the loss of your site was not the result of acrimony. While I can’t avail myself of your site’s purpose, I hope to hear that you are up and running again soon.


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  9. Yes, by all means, let’s put down women that desired marriage and children, kept themselves pure (truly pure) for marriage and family, and were not attractive enough to succeed with men who went off with the beauty queens & permiscuous women instead. Or the women that had leukemia or lymphoma in her teens, and had her fertility destroyed. Many, despite this early sadness and devastation, went on to work hard and support themselves independently in a field that benefits humankind, without lots of sex, shoes, fancy vacations, or jewelry. And have found joy and happiness after being overlooked virtually and completely by men.

    There is an old saying, that when one assumes, it they make a fool out of themselves.

    When a man or a husband whispers things that he does not know to be true, in the ears of his daughters and his wife, he is very well lying and committing slander, often on someone that has nothing to deserve it. Thus, even if he is not saying it to the woman, he is frequently breaking G-d’s laws.


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