Flashy illusion versus family formation.

Laura Wood published a comment from Donal Graeme in which he gives wise advice to young men and women.  To young men, he writes:

Watch carefully what women do. Not to watch the woman specifically, but what she does. We men are visual creatures, and so a beautiful woman can be distracting like nothing else. However, if you fixate on a woman’s actions it can help you determine a great deal about her character. Our Savior told us that “every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit.” Look at the fruit of a woman’s actions to help understand her better. Look for patterns of behavior, and you will be surprised how quickly the scales can fall from your eyes. It also helps to not pedestalize women- remember they are fallen human beings, just like you.

And he warns women:

I would like to point out that women are just as likely to be blinded by an attractive man as men are by an attractive woman. The web is full of stories of women complaining about their husbands, who turned out to be either weak in the faith or were non-believers all along. Many Christian women even knew this when they married them. Why did they marry such men? Because they were attracted to those men. Very attracted to them in most instances, and they choose attractiveness over character. And of course this blindness need not end in marriage- often times it “merely” ends in fornication, with women giving away their virtue to attractive men who lacked sound character. I’ve featured a few of those stories on my own blog. We all need to beware of flash, and look for substance instead.

Exactly so. Just as young women need to learn to spot players and refuse to allow themselves to be gamed – game, of course, being a flashy illusion employed for the purpose of seduction – so too do young men need to learn to spot women who use beauty as a flashy illusion to hide poor character. You can’t form a family around an illusion, for as Proverbs 31:30 says:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting…


9 thoughts on “Flashy illusion versus family formation.

  1. I have to really restrain myself from pouring my heart out so, I relay something that a former commenter of yours had to say elsewhere. She asked her daughter about haw she would qualifiy guys as potential husbands. Her daughter’s answers made sense if she were looking for a boyfriend. She said that she would have a nice long talk with her daughter.
    Perhaps the one of the sources of single guys’ frustration stems from women having short term outlooks.
    Back to the cave to console myself with ice cream.


      • Maeve,
        I think that I need to go to Baskin Robbins and buy my ice cream by the five gallon bucket. It’s not just her, this is all over.


      • @Donal – all my rockets aren’t firing (!!!) but what do you mean? I laugh at her all the time and remind her that I’m quite past 30 and not in my dotage yet and that I had her in my 30’s. It’s so entertaining to talk to teenagers.


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