Feminist Grinches turn the holidays ugly.

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In The feminist version of King Midas: everything they touch turns ugly, I wrote:

…feminists turn everything they touch – be it paid work or home-keeping – into miserly ugliness.

But Mrs. Sn0rkmaiden retorted:

I don’t know a single feminist, or any woman for that matter in real life or online who begrudges nurturing their families

I grumbled to myself because I knew that I ought to find specific examples to support my rebuttal, but I was busy and tired and feeling lazy and so I didn’t.

Lo and behold, when I sat down to take a little coffee break just now, I found a link on Dalrock’s blog to a recent article by Jessica Valenti, who is arguably the face of modern feminism, and to whom I must now express my heartfelt thanks for providing me in such a timely manner with the perfect example to support the characterization of feminism as ugly, selfish, and just plain Grinchy.  In No, I will NOT wrap all the presents. Why are women still responsible for the holiday joy? Mrs. Valenti writes:

We all know that women do the majority of domestic work like child care, housework and cooking. But the holidays bring on a whole new set of gendered expectations that make the season less about simply enjoying fun and family and more about enduring consumerism, chores and resentment so that everyone else can enjoy rockin’ around the Christmas tree. (I bet even Mrs Claus gets upset that Santa works one night a year but she’s dealing with hungry elves 24/7. That would be almost enough to make you want to over-indulge in eggnog and hurl yourself in front of a reindeer-pulled sleigh.)

Being the holiday point-person can be drudgery. Making lists, wrapping presents, finding sales to indulge a particularly demanding relative’s requests to Santa … baby, let’s just say the brisk winter weather starts to feel bitter cold outside.

…And it’s not enough that women actually manage to finish all of these chores – we’re also expected to plaster Christmas grins on our faces the whole time, lest the masses think we’re not thrilled with all the wrapping-paper-inflicted paper cuts.

Last month, for example, former Growing Pains star and current evangelist pain in the ass Kirk Cameron posted a video telling women to make sure to show their “joy” when performing their womanly duties:

Let your children, your family, see your joy in the way that you decorate your home this Christmas, in the food that you cook, the songs you sing, the stories you tell, and the traditions you keep.

That was enough to make me want to sing The Most Offensive Christmas Song Ever. I hope Cameron gets nothing for Christmas this year – or better yet, a copy of The Feminine Mystique.

Dear me, we wouldn’t want women to find and express joy in serving our families, now would we! No doubt it is much better to be a sarcastic, complaining bitch.  Surely that will motivate our husbands to lend a hand.

Actually, gentle reader, what your husband wants is probably the same as what mine has expressed a preference for: to be asked.

That’s all most men want. To be asked politely to lend a hand when we are up to our elbows in powdered sugar and need someone to run around the corner to the neighbor’s farm (or to the grocery store) for more eggs.  They don’t want to hear another complaining rendition of Saints and Martyrs, Christmas Cookie Edition; they just want to be asked. Because they didn’t request that we make ten different kinds of cookies, but if we want to do so, they’ll usually happily lend a hand if only they are asked politely.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to “plaster a Christmas grin” on my face and go finish preparing for our Christmas party, but before I go, let us enjoy listening to my current favorite version of “Mary, Did You Know?”:

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8 thoughts on “Feminist Grinches turn the holidays ugly.

  1. My Teddy Bear told me, that feminists, if you drill down, are just meanies. Since he is a teddy bear, he is more attuned to these things. I have to wonder how Jessica Valenti can live with herself. She is a wife and mother. Perhaps this persona of a feminist is a front for the consumption of her public.

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  2. As you “plaster Christmas grins” on your faces and get lost in the swirls of sugar sprinkles, rejoice and let your spirit get caught up to God in the process. Loud is better, if you have the speakers for it. Vocal Point. Avi from Pentatonix can be found in the comments section. “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlement” and “O Come, O Come Emannuel” are also noteworthy. Merry Christmas everyone.


    Nearer My God To Thee – like you’ve never heard it before.

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  3. I wasn’t especially enamored with the Valenti article, but to be fair to her she wasn’t being a misery guts, as the whole article reveals, she actually does enjoy Christmas, as in this quote:

    ‘I love everything about the holiday season. I like the brisk weather, the festive wreaths lining door after door as I walk on the city’s busy sidewalks – we’ve even decorated our tree already, topped with a cardboard glitter star that I made with my daughter when she was two years old.’

    What Valenti’s doing is taking part in the old British tradition of moaning about Christmas, as pointed by Bodycrimes in her own pre-Christmas tongue in cheek post. If you scan the British media you’ll find loads of voices complaining about over commercialization, relatives they don’t like, ugly jumpers and turkeys that won’t fit in the oven. It’s not a feminist thing, Valenti’s just fitting in with her host nation.

    Right, well I’ve made the mince pies (with ready made, ready rolled pastry, bwahaha), made the ice cream, wrapped the presents, got the bird defrosting in the fridge since yesterday (not having a repeat of what happened last year), the house is slightly less messy than usual, all that’s left is to go write a snarky blog post.

    Merry Christmas everyone (even the mean people).

    [ST: I tried to leave a comment on your blog, but your spam filter ate it.]

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    • If you’ve actually made the ice cream, then I suppose I can withhold any judgmental comments about your substandard pastry. ^_^

      As for me, we spent the evening at one of my husband’s brother’s homes with a variety of family/friends. My husband has now gone off to work 😦 but my mother-in-law is spending the night and helped me get all the presents under the tree after the children were safely quarantined in their bedrooms.

      Merry Christmas to all!

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  4. I bet even Mrs Claus gets upset that Santa works one night a year but she’s dealing with hungry elves 24/7.

    While Mrs. Claus is feeding hungry elves, Santa is filling out paperwork, dealing with labor and pay disputes, meeting safety regulations, ordering supplies to make toys, keeping up with all the latest advances in tech, and negotiating licensing deals with all major toy and game companies to use their names and logos on North Pole Inc. toys.

    Also, those guys at NORAD keep making noises about wanting more swag or they’ll stop tracking his route for the kids every year.

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