The pleasure of a quiet evening at home with family and a few thoughts on prioritizing family formation.

Last night was cold, rainy, and windy, so after the day’s activities and chores were finished, we gathered for a cozy dinner en famille. This kind of weather is definitely a breakfast-for-dinner kind of weather, so we made homemade sausage gravy and buttermilk biscuits.

biscuits and gravy

 

The girls can handle biscuit-making pretty well on their own now, and Chef John from Food Wishes’ recipe for buttermilk biscuits is our favorite:

Beautiful Buttermilk Biscuits

Ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
7 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into thin slices, chilled in freezer
3/4 cup cold buttermilk

Chef John is very entertaining to listen to and has a sharp sense of humor, so his cooking videos are fun to watch:

After dinner, we gave the fireplace its maiden fire – the previous owners never seem to have used it, so I think this may be the first time in the nine years since this house was built that the fireplace has actually been used:

 

first firelight

 

Eldest daughter eventually broke out her guitar and sang to us, while my husband Philip stretched out to read. It was such a quiet, pleasant evening at home with our family.

So the little lesson I’d like to impart in this post is the importance of family formation and taking this seriously when you are still young. I find it sad that young women are pushed hard by society to delay family-formation and preparing for being a competent, helpful wife and perhaps mother and instead pushed to focus solely on education and career. I believe this is backwards thinking.

Of course young women need to study and work, but they should prioritize learning how to cook and care for a home and should definitely take seriously looking for a suitable mate when they are still young. Women have all the time in the world to earn college degrees and money, but we have a limited period of time when we are still young and attractive and easily able to find a good man to marry while still able to have children without costly fertility treatments. Consider this:

Apple, Facebook to pay for women to freeze eggs

Facebook said it offers egg freezing for female employees up to $20,000. The company also offers adoption and surrogacy assistance and “a host of other fertility services for male and female employees,” the company said via e-mail.

Apple also offers egg freezing and storage, extended maternity leave, adoption assistance and infertility treatments.

It sounds very nice, like a young woman need have no thought of family formation until she is 35 or 40 or older. But what is the reality?

Women whose…eggs were preserved before age 30 had a greater than 8.9% likelihood of implantation per embryo which declined to 4.3% for embryos from eggs frozen after 40.

So the data shows that even if a woman has her eggs frozen in her twenties, she’s only got about a 9% chance of those eggs being able to form an embryo that implants.  And I would guess most women don’t go the egg freezing route until they are well into their 30s, which means that this is not a good strategy to rely upon if a young woman wants to have a family of her own one day. Also consider this, from Pew Research:

Nearly one-in-five American women ends her childbearing years without having borne a child, compared with one-in-ten in the 1970s.

If marriage and children are important to a young woman, she should prioritize them while still young. This doesn’t mean she can’t go to college, but it does mean that she should skip the partying while she is there and focus on finding her spouse while earning that degree.

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6 thoughts on “The pleasure of a quiet evening at home with family and a few thoughts on prioritizing family formation.

  1. Pingback: The purpose of paid work for women. | The Sunshine Thiry Blog

  2. Pingback: Christian women should be helpers, not careerists. | The Sunshine Thiry Blog

  3. Pingback: Millennials: childless, indentured to student loans for life, and all for nothing. | The Sunshine Thiry Blog

  4. Pingback: Know that you are happy. | The Sunshine Thiry Blog

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